The weekend before last, I had a chance to go home after drinking a lot of alcohol.
On that day, I took a different route home than usual, walking home alone in the middle of the night, drunk as a skunk.
I had not used that road for quite a long time, as it was a back road to the elementary school I attended.
Across the river was a factory. On the site of that bamboo grove…
The moment the factory came into sight, I was a little bit shaken.
I tried not to think about it, but on a whim, I passed by a street that I had decided I would never pass by again.
It was already dark, and all I could see was the dim light from the factory’s exterior lamps.
That’s when I saw it. I saw that the bamboo grove had not been destroyed and was still there.
Since that incident more than ten years ago, I had never been to the bamboo grove or even passed by it, as my friend had warned me.
So, it seems that my memory had been twisted on its own.
The bamboo grove had not disappeared….
In a normal state, I would have dashed away as fast as I could, but I was drunk.
I must have had a strange sense of mission, stupid.
There was an old concrete bridge to cross over to the other side of the river, and I crossed it. To get to the bamboo grove.
This is the bamboo grove that everyone used to use to test their courage in elementary school. This is the first time for me to come here.
I had only seen it from a distance before the incident.
Now that I am an adult, it looks much smaller from the outside.
It looked as if there were many green walls surrounding the bamboo grove.
When I got closer, I realized it was a fern-like thing that grew in clusters on the fences placed around it.
My legs were wobbly, but I quickly scrambled over the fence and into the bamboo grove.
I could only think that I was fascinated by something.
The grass was overgrown and it was pitch black inside.
So, I went toward the outside light of the factory.
Then I found a hut right next to it. I could not see it at all from the outside.
As I expected, my feet stopped. I had no idea that it was really there. And that it was still there.
“Here is O’s mother….” I unconsciously put my hands together.
And I could have stopped, but I thought about going into the shack, you know.
I told (wrote?) that story to an unspecified number of people. So, I cannot say that I am a total outsider at the earliest.
To clear things up, I need to check inside myself.
That’s what I thought…maybe. No, drunks don’t think that far, do they?
The door was a side-sliding wooden door, not locked (the shack was really shabby to begin with), but strangely heavy.
I pulled it open at once and peeked inside.
It was pitch black inside the hut and at first I couldn’t see anything.
I entered the hut and immediately tripped over something.
Although I did not fall, I staggered and went straight into the depths.
Here and there, something hard hit my feet.
I couldn’t see anything for a while, but as my eyes adjusted, I…
Inside the hut, I noticed an unusually large number of jizo statues standing here and there.
Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo
Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo
Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo Jizo!!!!
My heart almost stopped.
For a moment, all the Jizo were looking at me! I almost sat up and thought, “What the hell?”
Their gazes were connected at a different point in the hut.
What’s there! I looked that way, but there is nothing in that space.
Just the upper part of the space.
If you look a little, you will see a long, straight beam that runs through the hut.
It was so thick that a person could easily be hung from it.
I could easily imagine “what was there”
I felt nauseous from drunkenness and chills, and I could hear clearly in my ears as I held my mouth shut.
“Mommy?” I heard a small voice saying, “I’m sorry.
I turned around and saw O, unmistakably the same as he was then, just inside the entrance of the hut!
O’s round eyes were distorted so clearly that I could almost hear them twitch, and then…I understood.
O was about to scream out the next moment!
I don’t really remember how I got out of the bamboo grove.
When I came to, I was running as fast as I could along my usual path home while vomiting.
That was two weeks ago. My arms and other parts are covered with scratches.
I was very worried, but I thought it was probably a misunderstanding or a dream.
I’ll forget about it now. Someone please give me a rational shove.
I’ve been on the verge of tears lately…. See you.
I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.
